Panda (n): a sanguine, 20-something woman who volunteers regularly, smiles constantly, and travels often. Does not eat bamboo.
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I am grateful for:
10. supportive friends
9. a great life, with great family, friends, a killer apartment, a paid-off-in-full car, and a lovey good town and great job.
8. salads and flavored water at work
7. educational opportunities at every turn
6. a new goal
5. fitness and gym
4. love
3. Subaru
2. runa tea
1. waking up late and still having a great day
what’s on your gratitude list today?
can I begin to express myself more authentically today ? What are all the ways I can do it ?
have faith in the universe
love them too
and be around them
love others
as well as myself
be kind to strangers
and dogs
and lunch ladies
love all
respect the earth and animals
be kind to your mother
and love her
and your father
variety is the spice of life
all are welcome where you are and where you go
don’t forget others when you lose your way
go off the beaten path and forge your own
begin to question life’s little mysteries
and draw your own conclusions
go were no one has gone in their life
and where you will go, go with all your heart
attract the love you truly deserve. love yourself enough to give yourself what your heart truly wants.
cease the noise of negativity , let go and let flow.
I have not written anything to the interwebs in a few months. If it weren’t for a few people who tell me they read my blog, I would keep to my journals and pick up pen only. However, starting this blog has given me a chance to open myself up, to criticism, love, whatever it is that this brings to me.
I see the things people post on here, for myself. It’s easier than writing with a person in mind. For a long period, when I would write about my travels or adventures in Africa or Europe, I would really picture my grandpa’s heart when writing things, picture him opening up his email account, seeing an email from me about a new post, and logging in. This was good for a little while, as it allowed me to connect with my family through my words , across the globe.
Authenticity has always been of utmost importance to me. I was telling a friend recently about how I was feeling guilt for a period of time in my past where I was a not so happy or optimistic person. She said to me, ’ Not one person is happy every minute of everyday. Happiness is a choice. There are no labels, only choices and none of them are permanent’. I feel that I am so lucky to know this woman, and thank God for the friendship we share. This is a phrase I have repeatedly reminded myself lately, when I wake up after a night out, or a morning of bagels and coffee rather than fruit and a run. Its a love filled life, we are here to experience that. The heart thinks things before we even know they exist. We must learn to trust these feelings and allow them to flourish, the love that stems from our Universal gut feelings , whether its about a person a place a thing or an idea, are usually spot on.
The reason I have told you this story here, is because I feel good about letting go. Letting go to the apartment I have enjoyed living in for two years, to the people I have shared it with for one, and the Amanda I have been for these five years living in Burlington, and identifying solely with following the college lifestyle. I am so ready to move on. This year marked my 23rd year of life. I have never felt more loved than I did this past year at my birthday party, which my friend Jess threw for me. She is amazing, truly inspiring and touches every soul she meets, and planned the whole affair.
I walked into the event and felt hit with a surge of complete love and complete comfort and safety, like I belonged. I couldn’t even kid around like normal or drink a lot of champagne because I experienced love that was so strong it was a gift and I didn’t want anything to numb that feeling.
What I am saying is, there is a level of authenticity in my life that I hope to share here. When I am soap boxing something, or writing to a person who exists in real life, it’s not always as much me speaking as it is my ego. It pipes up when I feel fear, or concern of what others may think or say when they read my writing. I am a writer. I have been writing since I was 12 years old. It is time for me to face my fear or start a blog where I write all the real truths I feel inside without being humbled by fear or failure because I believe them to belong as part of my destiny. If people are listening, they can say the things they think too, and I can have a conversation started about things that are real and true, and allow the heart to grow fonder all the while.
This means I must write. That is the end.
We are here for a real purpose. Our determined purpose is already inside of us, speaking to us. It is up to us to remember the truth we forgot long ago. If you are shy, or don’t remember how to connect to your heart, close your eyes and listen. The truth lies there, tucked in the small closet of your heart where you keep diaries and lucky pennies . This is where I am longing to return to , and find the things I knew once. There is magic in every moment, and there is history here, and there is nuturing, loving, all-encompassing compassion for living a life truly enamored with the present. I will choose this truth over the fear that I am’ so not ready for this, or good enough for that, or lovely enough to be loved’ .
Sometimes, we are wrapped up in our own heads and unable to see the view from the lovely place we are in. My view is this: trees, mountains, lakes, animals, and freedom to choose. I am thankful for these things, I really think too much sometimes, and this new idea of focusing on just being, really presently aware, ‘writing for me’, if you will, is allowing me to connect with my true nature, the part of me that leaves work to stroll in grassy fields with bare feet clutching flowers in one hand and a book in the other.
Dance to your heart’s content, and give yourself a gift today, or tonight-
a fresh, spacious start, a place to learn to grow, love, move on, and let go.
Tomorrow, you will wake up king of your own destiny, and your grateful heart will sing a song like one you’ve never heard before.
This is the truth and life that is in all of us.
Amanda
than the first sip of a steaming hot cup of coffee on a cold day?
I just have to say, this is that good, ya’ll.
going to respond to my negative thoughts with a slap, ‘get off my lawn, bitches!’
Anxiety accompanies desire. As long as the mind is full of desire, anxiety will be there. When desire ceases, anxiety is no more.
Sri Siddharameshwar Maharaj (via lazyyogi)50. dancing to hip hop, rap, r&b, country, electric, jazz, classical MUSIC
49. buying gifts for Christmastime
48. thinking out loud
47. laughing big belly laughs
46. making cupcakes, vegan, gluten-free, or regular
45. long walks in the open air
44. making a great meal from all the leftovers in the fridge
43. getting into a steaming hot shower
42. walking into a place and being greeted by people on the way in
41. listening to a friend when they need to relieve their mind
40. snowboarding
39. running outside in the summertime
38. paddleboarding
37. the smell of a freshly painted room
36. leaving a salon feeling like Beyonce
35. leaving a salon feeling like a million bucks ( see above)
34. listening to rain when you’re nestled into the couch with a book
33. dogs jumping up with excitement to see you
32. psychology
31. all the birds singing when it first starts warming up outside
30. boots with the fur, or without, actually; boots.
29. music, music, music
28. meditation, mantra-ing
27. a spiritual connection
26. moonlight on Lake Champlain
25. hot tea in cold hands
24. glitter
23. making a new friend
22. fresh flowers
21. potted plants
20. making a really great meal for friends
19. scoring parking
18. grandparents, family, and friends
17. LL Bean moccasins
16. reading books ,especially on mental health awareness
15. warm towels from the dryer
14. basil cut from a plant on the deck
13. clotheslines blowing in the summer
12. friendships with people who have let you change
11. thriller by michael jackson
10. leaving and coming back, and seeing your old place with fresh eyes
09. roomies who wake you up singing Sam Cooke
08. Betty White
07. jack russells
06. the day you realize you’ve made an impact in someone’s life
05. the day you realize its important to give life your best shot
04. changing up the old routine
03. travelingR
02. making it to 50, and my mom
01. the way the sun shines
“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits put together that overwhelm the world” - Desmond Tutu
#RollingRock ladies at #MrMikes in #VT - ping pong tournament and #Duff hour - think you can handle the heat ? #ComeToTheKitchen #FarrellDistributing
Leave Note / Reblog
mrmikes farrelldistributing duff rollingrock vt cometothekitchen
50. I earned a bachelor’s degree and walked across a stage to get it
49. learned meditation loves me back
48. took a tennis lesson, and it went both into and over the net
47. sang on stage at Red Square, just in case the world really was ending
46. my heart opened to new things, including people, boys, girls, places & ideas
45. loved the way my face felt in the sun
44. juiced for three days straight *without eating chocolate*
43. prayed for people I haven’t met who loved people I know
42. made new friends and had conversations that changed me
41. my aunt found a new place in life as a superhero Mom
40. discovered paddboarding is my jam
39. loved the sound of the wind chimes outside my porch
38. worked in a bar with such great people for the whole year
37. really exhibited a great love for myself and it made me smile, many times
36. snowboarded with new, Taurus-y friends
35. Nappy Roots in Jay Peak
34. laid in grass
33. my family was all together for the major holidays
32. ate so many apples, SO MANY APPLES
31. ate vegan for 5 months of this year
30. my girlfriends made friends with each other and we all laughed together
29. Montreal for Electrik Picnik
28. didn’t forget that my first friend in NY is as wonderful as she ever was
27. visited my hometown
26. mixed up mine and yours
25. asked for forgiveness
24. dad went to the place he grew up
23. talked to God / the Universe
22. my mom told me she loved me, every time I spoke with her, for 22 years straight
21. began ballet and had my first dance recital; didn’t fall off the stage
20. too many nights in too many bars dancing to not enough hip-hop music
19. I asked a boy on a date and he didn’t laugh at me or say no
18. spoke in front of my whole department
17. my dad became successful in his foreman career, even when he was scared to try before
16. food became fuel for positive energy through some well-placed allergies
15. hurt myself by putting others’ needs before mine
14. traveled to Vancouver for New Year’s and crashed into a tree at Whistler (and got up)
13. my baby sister turned 21
12. my world didn’t end on 12/12/12 *did yours?
11. didn’t see the future when I looked for it, it was there when I began looking at the present
10. met Ryan Montbleau and told him he rocked my socks
09. sang karaoke on multiple occasions with friends who love life, too
08. my new job and great friendships there began to make me happier each day
07. no more coffee as of my last day in this year
06. my good things came to an end, and my great things began
05. my 22nd birthday, loved spending it with my family
04. spoke at my college graduation reception
03. gained the wisdom to trust the universe
02. ended a relationship .
01. grouped my thoughts into lists, strewn across paper and the internet
10. happy co-workers in a happy office
9. great food for my body in the form of local & organic veggies
8. gym workout to rev my engine
7. house hunting with a great friend , Michaela
6. old bestie coming to visit me this weekend- JBK Beanie Baby
5. love the great people that surround me daily in my life, office, and home
4. my wonderful family, supporting me throuhgt lots of years, tears, fears, and notions
3. meditation, grounding me, crystals for energy
2. KOMBUCHA, love you
1. happiness in the form of finding your home.
Love needs two things: it has to be rooted in freedom and it has to know the art of trust. If these two things are made available your life immediately starts blossoming as if suddenly spring has come.- Osho
How amazing it is in life that we have the ability to love and be loved in return. It makes me want to turn my face to the sun and thank it for warming the earth; isn’t that how love feels to your hearts?
